❧Oblivion❧

Climb the mountain of hope to see the lights of
next morning~ picture©Ritajapatranabish

They say the world's a stage. Everyone in this world has his own part to play. We are performers. Not all of us are perfect. But not all of us are indifferent. Our roles are already decided. Here no scripts are written, even the next moment is  unpredictable. Not every act turns out the way we want them to. We fail. We learn and pick ourselves up again but never leave the stage until the act ends. Every life here has its own stories,every existence has its own purpose, every life suffers, here peace can be destroyed any moment when cruelty takes over, here ferocity smites righteousness and felicity is not assured. Here we fear the unforeseeable.


There are hardships and obstacles on the way to tranquility. It is always an uphill journey and never easy for no one. The path we walk strangles our motion, the faces we meet are devoid of emotion and every step tries to pull us down. The irony is once we start our journey everybody is obliged to take the path that leads to the unavoidable consequence and we can never avoid the inevitable. Wounds become a companion and scars are the teachers. So, it's ok if you get hurt. Injured is the strongest here. Wounded is the invincible. We are the ones who shed tears when we lose our beloved and we are the ones who strangle love with disgust and hatred. Enmity and war will never end , still we survive, we fight for existence. One chapter ends,another comes and the story takes turn. We all face the ups and downs,we reach high , we fall through and call it life.


When path divides and opens up the hell holes.... That is the moment on the stage  where climax begins. Where the audience will stick up to your pride and strength.... They will hope to see you fly, fight, run, shout even cry but still carry on, you cannot be the one who chooses to surrender nor escaping is an option. Every act finishes when one  leaves the stage forever, another fills the gap right away.

A universe is a stage spinning around with
you~©Dayeetachaudhuri

Whether or not the act has been satisfactorily completed, it comes to an end and one day everybody has to leave, our existence vanishes into nothingness. If you find the way to cheat the eyes who are watching you to glorify the stage you will serve a lie.
But if you create your stage by glorifying the world around you , you will live even after the curtain drops. You leave an impact on the audience. But, what we never ask ourselves is , if we all are stage players, then whom are those eyes? Who is the audience?
ᖳᖳ If there is an answer to this...in your mind then there is still hope and happiness standing on the next turn for the whole universe cause after all of this if you believe that there can be something or someone who is responsible for your rising in the morning then you are the luckiest person ......as you are the one who choose to take a part of being in the team to prove the audience  that it isn't over yet rather a story is about to begin and a protagonist is yet to lead.

~Pioneer Of Destruction~

Pretext:A personal view of  the worst crime of all through the Draupadi vastraharan scene from the Epic of Mahabharat...How will the ultimate judge will open up himself to stand by the victims even today.To know about  Draupadi vastraharan.Its the link at the end of the poem.

Silence took over the palace where only pride use to rule;

Time has also stopped....Astonished watching the desperate fool.

Whole universe were shouting but there was no sound.

Only a string of pledge were the so called bound.

Two pair of eyes with an inhuman brutality;

Reflection of my esteem i saw, when they crossed the periphery.

Today there was no bow, no eternal truth,no mace,no loyalty;

World was a witness of that shameless form of royalty.

Down on the ground there I fall

Look at my dignity draped across the hall

Why my embrace is a hammered pride.

When it should have been an armor in tide.

I know it was you, only your eternity 

Feather of omni-truth Protecting my dignity ...

Cinquen warriors  just shattered to the ground 

Crying as infant where it should have been a conch sound

Drastically broke down inch by inch 

That's when my hand paired only to recall your hymn

Where were you when I needed you the most.

Where were your existence, was

it just in my hopes? 

Did not needed you to cover my respect 

Just wanted you to be there for me when I expect.

The eternal nature was bystander of my existence

Your screams was the reason of my absence

I wasn't with you when the blemish were there

As you were here with me sharing your torment to be bare

Vigilance is even out of my sway,it tores them apart

Only who can survive after giving it all away

You don't know about this pain... 

Even if I was a viewer my tears would rain

Every second would be a year to bare it

I know you wouldn't get even if I share it

And what if you are aware of it all.

What if you have to control a tear's waterfall.

The scars you wore was curved on me,

Carried this agony which never left me free.

Today in this palace,

every teardrop was tornado of my blood rain.

Every yarn strand of your clothes was my vein.

The moment when you heard the eternal silence,

That was the sound of shattering every bit of my existence.

You weren't alone there to face,

The universe cried with you when I was dead.

My mind and heart was in conflict

Otherwise how can I question the one 

who's the preventer of every defeat 

But oh! Almighty what should I do 

When I am losing control over my mind and my heart too

My mind says to keep me calm, 

The society need to see me holding my charm

These are two roads that leads to nothing 

How Can I decide.. Help me with my feeling

Let’s take the road where nobody ran before

Let’s crave a path where women can say "not any more"

Let’s Teach this court today how to judge

Let’s loose control for once and take charge

Its no time to be society

Nobody is anybody's property

Turn the event into a glory

Become a title greater than me and write history,

Play a commander of fire Droupadi!....Go and be angry..

Know about Draupati vastraharan:click here and read about the game of dice

|| MAGIC OF COLORS || ~ FINAL PART

PLEASE  READ THE PREVIOUS BLOG TO FOLLOW  THIS PART 2 OF THE STORY LINK IS HERE:  ||MAGIC OF COLORS||

PL

She added,” he is, he is getting ….. getting married , actually. Alex almost jumped . “ what? When? How? How it all happened? When did he decide to…. I  mean….. suddenly ? marriage?”

I was stunned . I asked, “ but why acting so weird, why not telling us then. You could inform me. You know how important he is to his friends.  Then why did you not call us?” I almost shouted at her.

©Dayeetachaudhuri

Aunty looked down and what she said, that freaked me out.” She is a very good girl. Our family met her parents at a wedding a year ago and we liked her very much. She is of same age of Sumer. Few months ago , her mom and I were chatting on the phone and her mom said she wanted to marry off to a good family. Then, we thought Sumer and decided to…..” she was looking at me. I could not even react .

There was one thing about Sumer only his family was aware of and me among the friends. he was never into girls. He liked men.

I kept staring at her with anger and shock. There was a question in my eyes she answered, “ he is happy with the decision. “

“ No he is not. “ I yelled. Because , ever since I knew him I was told that nobody in his house supported him . Never. When it became unacceptable, they started to treat him badly, looked for god families , good girls and forced him to get married. Those shitty brains in his family used to think “ what will people say?” they were scared. What if society does not accept him? But this? This is the solution? To make the society believe that he is Man they think he is.  Being a gay is never a crime. They never understood. Uneducated people in his house did not actually know what or how he was or how much pain he was in. When everybody lost faith in him, he found me whom he could rely on , who was always there for him. Maybe, that’s what made our bond so strong. 

My head was burning. I got up and left. I could feel his agony. I had to meet him . I called .  No answer. Left messages. No reply. Wrote that I knew everything and wanted to meet him at least for once .

There was a park not so far from his house. We used to go and sit on two old swings there for hours. I wanted him to meet me there. But how? He never answered.

Waited for him in the park but he did not show up. Went to his house again. No sign of him.

The very next day I had flight  . I left angry and upset. How can I forget that? How can I forget what I left , how I left and how much I miss everything I left. I wish things were different….not so complicated, not so heart-breaking .  Left my hometown , but not with a good memory nor a smile.

Then, for one year I kept contacting my friends asking for Sumer’s whereabouts.  But, nobody knew nothing about him or where he or how he is. But, one thing they confirmed that he never got married. I heaved a sigh of relief after getting that news. The people I was asking about Sumer must have informed his mom .  Because, she called. And after what she said, everything was clear. I learned that the day before wedding day, he left the house. He was angry, did not want to stay in that house where he has no right to live  his life the way he wants to, where he is always looked down upon , where his dearest parents are never supportive . He packed bags and left. Aunty was crying .

Then she said he now lies in Noida, Mumbai.  He has a job at a renowned company and recently he has moved in with a man, three years older than him, he owns a business and runs an orphanage, has his own house in the outskirts of the town…… and  most important , they are happy together.

I am happy with what I have today. But , maybe not for long. After few months, I will again have to go back to that obvious discomfort in that house in Delhi where we  somehow manage to stay together and call it a ‘happy’ family. Same old shit everyday. But I am glad to hear about Sumer. He has got a new family now…. love, peace, comfort, shelter and the freedom he was longing for….he has everything.

This year , India’s top court overturned a  157 year old law criminalizing gay sex in a landmark victory for gay rights in the world’s largest democracy. It was told by the chief justice “ the freedom can only be fulfilled when each of us realizes that the LGBT community possesses equal rights.’’ It shows the rapid social change in India by diminishing the wrong history .People celebrated after the Supreme court verdict in every city, every corner of India.  So many people like my friend , Sumer are happy and free today, they are finally given equal rights and respect in the society and will not ever be looked down upon . So many families , so many lives have finally got to taste the pleasure of freedom.

PLEASE  READ THE PREVIOUS BLOG TO FOLLOW  THIS PART 2 OF THE STORY LINK IS HERE:  ||MAGIC OF COLORS||

PL

|| MAGIC of COLORS ||

Kolkata, city of joy, is very welcoming . it has a big heart inundated with generous, fun-loving folks everywhere. It was once India’s capital under British rulers. Well, I did not know it. Because Kolkata is unknown to me. The city , I am from , is the capital city of India right now. I am a girl from New Delhi, moved to Kolkata a year ago. People say , you do not know what is waiting  for  on your journey ahead. Never had given it a thought until my journey took an unexpected , unforeseen turn. I guess, from then a new chapter in my life started. Back in New Delhi we had an apartment. Me and my parents. Well, Sunita is my stepmom. Three  years after I was born things became complicated ….mom did not want to live with my dad anymore. I used to ask every other day, “ why mom does not stay at home? “ , “ why does she leave so early in the morning and why she never takes care of me , never even ask about me ?” these questions  used to haunt me . I used to sit on the couch staring at our door , longing for that one hug from my mom .  but I was too young to be told that she used to live with someone else and my parents were already separated . I was a good kid, used to do all my works on my own . things were going good even without mom.

©Dayeetachaudhuri

 But  when I was in high school, dad decided to get married again.  I knew he was seeing someone. Then , Sunita moved in and for them, it was a happy family. But I never could get over the memories of mom even though I knew that she had a choice to stay but she chose to leave me .

Days passed, Sunita used to take care of me very well and best thing about her…. She is a brilliant cook. I may not be her daughter but she treats me like  her own child. But things did not go well for long. Dad used to stay away for months.
 And when he used to return , he used to find Sunita mad at her  and then they argued , quarreled for hours . after some days Sunita left and then dad went over to her father’s place to get her back. But no full stop in the situation. Anger, quarreling , shouting , crying never stooped. I finally decided to take a leave from that prison.  That night  made a ticket and next day took the flight for Kolkata. My college was finished. I was looking for job . so, taking some time off would not be a bad idea. So, here I am now in Kolkata with my grandparents. They are lovely couple and what amazed me about them was they never yelled at each other. No fight, no getting mad, no anger  around me.  Not to mention…. I am happy. I was always fond of ice creams. And the combination of ice cream cones with headphones on my ears and long walk down the streets alone …has always been my favorite . so, I kinda started exploring the new city and with internet and its maps  nowadays, it is really  difficult to get lost even in a new city. Kolkata has a lot to share, a lot to show, a lot to give.

Here I started giving tuition to children . soon , my students became my friends. There is an old couple next door, they are also on my friend list.  In this big town , I am happy with thus small circle of friends.  Still it feels lonely. Because I left behind a lot people close to my heart when I left my hometown.  It is true that I never liked staying at home .  Everything  was there yet everything was missing. So  I used to hang out with my buddies . not many. Five-six lovable, reliable, good friends. I am still in touch with them. Well, few of them . my best friend Sumer, he was a darling. Beloved by everyone who used to meet him. How much I miss those times, we spent together laughing  and chatting. We made a promise that we will stay happy and smile in difficult times and will stay in touch forever. We were in same high school then same college. But things changed. Maybe , ‘Forever’ had planned something else for us. Few months after Sunita moved in with us , Sumer started acting weird. He stopped coming out of his house and meeting his friends. Barely received my calls or answered any text.

So one fine morning me and Alex decided to go to his place . we went over to his house….he was not there. His mom welcomed us  and we chatted a bit . Alex was answering to her formal ‘how are you?’ and ‘ what are you studying ?’ s. I jumped in. “ where is Sumer , aunty?”

“ he is not at home. He had to go to market.  Very important works to be done . Very important. “ she stared at the cup in on the table while answering. She looked nervous.

“ what’s going on , aunty? Something is wrong. He is avoiding us all, barely leaves the house .  Did anybody say anything or hurt him ?”

“no, no , no  ….nothing like that. “ she held my hand and said.  Aunty knew that I was always very protective about him and loved him so much. Then what she said , that left me shocked.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

~TO, MY LITTLE GIRL~

reference credits:galaxy flower crown girl.by  Qinni

Thought I’d be there when you will be so young…

Your crying would stop at night when only I will sing the song.

Every time the last period end; you’ll find me to tell the fair journey of today.

And the first bite of the cake will be mine at your every birthday..

I’ll be there with meal when you are hungry…..

Your mistakes will turn down cause I’ll be there to get angry.                    When you will choose the your life..

When you will chase your dreams.

Thought I’ll be the one who will taught you to be a wife .

And also the only one in your wedding to  flow the tear streams..

Never will loose the touch with you because of the distance.

Never would thought without you there will be my existence.

Permanently when you are settled I’ll be the one to embarrass you.

But never would allow my little girl’s hands to let go.

Grow old with your midlife crisis

And relive the childhood with your kids.

Die with a happy tears of purity…

Expecting you to live a long maturity.

See I’m holding you .
when you are just a minutes or few

Now I’m writing these expected reality to you.

What was my future now became my dream.

The reality became my nightmare as it screams.

They don’t know what are they asking for

Part of me which belongs to you my little girl.

Heart has a very difficult brain to understand.

It builds you a royal castle , made out of sand.

picture credits:@Ritajapatranabish

Last words with you would be my lesson of your own language.

Before I take a leave from this strange life stage.

But when you can read please listen to me dear.

You are the most precious gift, I’ll bless you from up here

So take my dream and make it you wish ……

Live a long life and do whatever you please.

Cause only in that way I can be with you every single day.

From this lit up night ,till your last birthday..

Love ,your Mom

~STUPID LIFE | THEN LEAD IT THAT WAY~

"Fly like you are living don't live like you are dying"
©Dayeetachaudhuri

Protect me oh! Lord.....From the rules and obsessive love,Want to be hated want to be absurd
Broken and curved
I will wear it like a blessing from above.
Shredded like paper  by the life
Feel so awaken and alive
So don’t protect me from the problems
Just secure me from resemblance
I will work hard on stupidity;
Grow my spirit to extreme insanity.

Stopped  at the end ….where is the fun when you can’t start again.

Where is the reason in your smile when you can’t grow again.

Roads are still there , starting point is waiting here.

But where are the men who suppose to begin here.

I know ….Searching for the path

No wonder where they are.

Someone is asleep and dreaming a road;
Someone has lost his power of control;
Someone is cutting the roots.
Apparently everybody is lost in the woods.
Foolish people roaming with the bear
Making the path ignoring the thoroughfare.
Thinking and finding a new shortcut to the finish line
End up running away from the start and just flying blind.

I love the path that seems so stupid.

Because there is a laughter in every minute.

Straight flaws are the safest risk.

Cause there is a thought of purity in it.

So do something stupid ,often in every step.

Cause it might be worst but it will be the best.

©Dayeetachaudhuri

I tried and lead

And trust me when I say it’s a need.

It may be causing the lost of your mind.

But definitely will fill your heart with delight.

Buy the most expansive when you are broke.

Enjoy the same cheap food when you have a crore.

Push the middle ground to coincide the ultimate.

Own the moment you found before the credit goes to the fate.

Everyone will say your life will be a joke.

well take it as a compliment and again write the book.

because when it all over 

promise it will end with the "Happily ever after".

read the the pages stating from the cover 

              you'll find every chapter filled with laughter.

~" IMAGINATIONS "~

"When we are asleep in this world we awake in another"
~SALVADOR DALI
©Dayeetachaudhuri

The day you first open your eyes and see the world , you start seeing the Reality , with the eyes wide open you look around , you see things , you learn. But then comes a time, when you learn about the world you can see with your eyes closed . They are dreams ,known to be the place where one can live one’s wishes . But  when you open your eyes , you find yourself in a different but familiar world . You live here , walk here, laugh here, cry here . You  make wishes in this real world that may listen to every wish you have ever made but they never come true. Whereas, the world of dreams always has a lot to give. Here our wishes come true  and there is a lot to smile about and you can feel it with your soul . But you know what…. Dreams are lies. 

They make you feel like you are finally living your fantasies   ,your wishes , you are finally satisfied and feel peace ...... they lie. You can  never be there . They take you to different places and once it is over you cannot feel it or see it ever again . Here’s what’s funny about the real world , it never changes . Here we cannot experience the satisfaction we get in the dreams or in nightmares . Yes , I have a little different definition about nightmares . Usually , when it is a bad horrible dream . we name it nightmare , but think again . Aren’t nightmares the realities we don’t want to go back to ?

They are real thoughts that disturb you , makes you see things you don’t want to see . but same are the dreams . They make you see what you want to happen , what you makes you happy .

 We are never in deep sleep while we dream . Our subconscious mind is active and you travel to your land of bucket list. Here somebody wants to be on a magic carpet , somebody wants a Ferrari and somebody only smiles for finally  having a roof over his head. Not in reality but still, different soul finds there inner peace in there wishes. The coolest thing about dream is  while you are dreaming you forget about the cry, the stress, the fight, the mess , the tear and pain you face in real world . From a little kid to an old man and even a moribund heart on a hospital bed , dream . They dream of ecstasy , love and laughter . We dream small, we dream big . And sometimes we ask ourselves “ will they ever come true ?”

Sometimes this hope this wish makes us feel heartbroken ,when we realize , we will never make it to the place we want to see, never meet the person we want to meet, never can turn back time to live the beautiful moments we cherished with the loved one , then everything seems to fade away . But we still hope , we embrace the happiness ,afterall  the heart wants what it wants. Because , it is the wish even you don’t know when you made , back in your mind you kept thinking of it wanting to be true . Dreams are weird , they not always make sense . The piece of heart you leave in everything , every
person you find desirable guides you to your dream .

But what if the dreams which are in your eyes but they are gone the moment you fall asleep . What would it be like if you never had good dreams when you sleep ? What if there are only nightmares that chase you and its only dark when close the eyes ? Sometimes, there are screams ,cruelty and horror you see and they jolt you back from sleep every night .

 "Sometimes you  need to close your eyes
to see whats inside you."

 It is scary and you feel helpless because every night  you think what if you see them again ? And the dark land of nightmares keeps on torturing you . The cruel faces of the ones you are scared of or the bloody night where you still remember yourself running from those lowlives. The disappointments, weakness , hopelessness hurt you brutally when everybody else is asleep . They feed on your fear . Make you feel alone even in a crowded place . It take s over the brain and even serotonine does not help you anymore . Then you become vulnerable and that is a nice and easy victory for the fear .

 One cannot run from the reality or the things that cause the panic in a feeble mind   . Instead one should teach oneself how to fight the fright. It is okay if we cannot live  a life as happy and perfect as dreams are , there always will be ups and downs , will be uphill journey that involves failure and obstacles for existence , everywhere on this strange planet . But we should not live with the terror and let it live with us .